Somebody Just Save Me
by jaaay.p
Summary: Bella Swan, bad girl, has escaped her screwed up life with drugs. She's making bad decisions, and hanging out with the wrong people. After an accident, can neighbour Edward Cullen save her from herself? AH/OOC, rated m for drugs, swearing, and lemons.
1. prologue

DISCLAIMER ; i own nothing, i am not Stephenie Meyer, i don't have millions of dollars for the amazing story, but i do have my own ideas. i hope you enjoy them as much as i do :)

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Comin' last is where I am at,  
So much time has passed,  
And I'm stuck,  
Trying to relive the past,  
When I can't go back,  
Will somebody just save me

-The Rocket Summer, She's My Baby

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**EPILOGUE.**

The cold night air stung at my cheeks, turning them a harsh red against my pale skin. I sighed, I didn't know why we were even here. Mike, Tyler, and Ben were finishing off their "art work" on the back wall of an established bank. The new group of girls they found minutes earlier were hanging off of every word. I scoffed, and one of them turned back to glare at me. They were the typical teenagers from the High Schools I hated. They were exactly the reason I dropped out at sixteen. Their short skirts barely covered the bottom of their ass, and their tops scooped so low it left nothing to the imagination. I knew, by the boys faces, that they were already annoyed by their constant giggles and ditzy girl routine, but they were keeping them around just incase they could get into their pants.

I took another drag of my cigarette, and diliberately blew the smoke in their direction. The small blonde coughed, but tried desperately to cover it up with a giggle. She didn't want to appear like she wasn't used to this kind of thing.

I took out a couple of pills, and after taking one myself, passed them around to the boys. They offered a few to the girls, and only one brave one took it, her friend quickly through her a worried look, but she brushed it off. I quietly wished Angela would return with the alcohol, hoping for someone I could actually talk to.

I held the tiny pink pill in my hand, contemplating on whether or not to take it. I needed to escape the harsh reality that now stood infront of me, but I knew if I went home high again Renee would definitely kick me out.

I finally decided to wait for Ang, if she would take it, so would I.

The guys threw their emptied spray can bottles on the ground, and stepped back to admire their work.

"It sucks," I said bluntly, staring at the picture of a naked girl. They had mastered the tags of their names, and were now trying out actual art.

Both of the girls turned to look at me, shocked that I would speak to them like that, then Mike turned around and said, "Shut the fuck up, Bells."

I stood up from my spot between the car and the fence, and jumped on his back. He threw me off, and began play fighting with me. The brunette stared me down, obviously she had her eyes on him.

This only made me play fight longer with him, determined to piss off these girls in any way possible, until I finally saw Ang walking up from a distance, a bottle of vodka in her hand.

Ang could always get older guys to buy our alcohol, sometimes it took a bit more than flirting, but most the time they just did it because of how beautiful she was. We had been best friends since we were born. Our mothers were in the same room, in labour with us. Sam had long brown hair that flowed to the bottom of her back. Her long eyelashes showed off her bright blue eyes, and her cheek bones were set in just the right place. She had a face that would make any model jealous, and a body that made every boy want her. People were shocked when she started wearing metal band t-shirts, and ripped jeans with combat boots, and wearing makeup so dark her blue eyes disappeared behind the mask.

Ang finally reached us, and passed around the bottle of vodka.

"Who invited barbie sluts?" She whispered to me, loud enough so that they could all here. Her obvious intention.

Every one of the girls blushed a deep red, clearlyly wishing it was just them and the boys. I had seen girls like this often enough, trying to take a walk on the dark side. Finding bad boys who they could try to turn good, or just use them as bragging rights at school.

Mike was running his hand up and down a girls leg, but staring at me as he did it. I rolled my eyes. I knew he was doing it just to make me jealous, a week earlier he tried to make a move on me, telling me I was beautiful and almost using the dreaded "L" word. When I told him I only thought of him as a friend, he'd been determined to make me feel otherwise. He thought that flirting with the brown haired airhead was the way to do that, and all I could do was stiffle back a laugh.

Sure, Mike was cute. All the boys were, thats why they were so popular with these high school bimbos. After three years of hanging out with them, though, I couldn't look at them as more than my brothers.

Sam and I had once been the high school girls that clung to their every word, but they found something different in us. We weren't looking for a reason to brag, we were looking for a chance to escape. It was the year my parents got a divorce. Charlie had cheated on Renee with his fake breasted seceratary, and I was broken, to think that my perfect family had become just another statistic. Ang's jock boyfriend, Eric, had slipped something into her drink after finding out that she wasn't interested in sex, and raped her.

Then Mike, Tyler, and Ben showed up. They were sitting in the food court of the mall, carving profanities into the table, when we walked past them. They began flirting with us, as many people did, but there was something about them that made us do a double take. They all wore black clothes, and leather jackets that suited them perfectly. When we went back to their small apartment, they lit up a joint. It was something different, something new, and something that would take our minds off our fucked up lives, even if only for a few hours.

We continued to do so for weeks after, and it soon became our routine.

I glanced up, shaking my thoughts from my head, to find Angie in a corner, Ben grabbing her ass as they made out, and Mike and Tyler in similar positions with the girls of the night.

"I'm over this," I said loudly, announcing my exit.

They all gave me a quick over-the-shoulder wave, and went back to swapping spit.

I popped the pill in my mouth, hoping to make the walk home the most memorable part of my night, or at least being able to forget this part.

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A/N

i know it's kinda graphic, and it will stay that way for a few chapters. but please, stick with it :)  
i have the first few chapters written, and edward appears in the next one.  
i know bella is completely out of character, but she will go back to the smart one we know and love.  
enjoy my lovelies :)  
ou! and, i know i hate when people do this, but i will only add the next chapter up after at least 5 reviews.

love always,

333


	2. chapter one, punished

disclaimer ; nothing belongs to me, but i'm happy to have found my less vampire-y version of edward i get to call me own :)

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Just walk away  
Gather your thoughts for the second wave  
Of this argument on this epic changing day  
It's crazy to think that an hour ago all things were great  
But we stand both proud both wrong and right  
Throwing cheap shots in this stubborn fight  
And our lives are so intertwined in one  
And we're just so stuck in this moment its clear that were coming undone

- Goodbye Waves And Drive Aways, The Rocket Summer

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**Chapter One.**

I woke up the next morning with a throbbing headache, Renee's screaming from downstairs not at all helping. I listened closer to hear what she was saying, who she was even talking to. She was complaining about me, something I did last night. I tried to think back to what I could even done to make her this angry, but everything turned out as a blur.

"She's out of control! She's ninteen years old now, she should have a job, her own place! Normal kids her age are in _college_," she spat the word, "and for God's sake, she hasn't even finished high school! I thought it was just a phase, that I should let it go because she would be back on track in no time. She's a brilliant girl, and she is gorgeous. She could go anywhere with her life, instead she is hanging out with these losers.. I don't know what I'm going to do, what can I even say to get through to her?"

I waited, hoping to find out who she was ranting about me to. It was silent, except for a few "mhm" and "but"'s. It killed me to hurt my mom, after she had been hurt so bad by my father, but it was making _me_ feel better, wasn't that all that really counted?

"She's your daughter too, Charlie!" A small growl escaped my mouth, she hadn't talked to my father in three years, and neither have I. He sent us money, and he sent me gifts and cards for every holiday, but that was all that I heard from him. That was all I wanted to hear. She finished up with a "Whatever," before hanging up the phone. Suddenly, the intercom paged up to my room, and her exasperated voice let me know that Vonia's finished cooking our breakfast, and it was time for me to come eat.

I grabbed a robe off the back of my door, and headed downstairs to eat. I was dreading the disappointment speech I knew my mom had in store for me, knowing completely that I would deserve it. I walked downstairs and greeted our cleaner, Celia, before heading into the dining room. Vonia had made me a plate of scrambled eggs and french toast, and Renee was already seated with my step-father, Phil. He was a very wealthy man, a famous baseball player. He made Shirley extremely happy, and I was thankful for all he did for our family.

"So," my mother began, mentally preparing herself for the lecture that was coming, "Have fun last night? I'm assuming you did, Celia had a fun time cleaning up your vomit from inside the umbrella holder," _hey_, I thought, _at least I did it in a closed space_, "So I gave Rajah the day off today, and you will be cleaning the lawn, mowing it, picking weeds, and trimming the bushes."

My mouth dropped open. Our lawn was huge, bigger than all my friends houses put together, and she expected _me_ to do that?

"Can't you just ground me like a _normal_ parent?" I asked, appalled at the task she had laid out for me.

"Bella, I've tried that, I've tried everything. You sneak out, you bring people in, nothing works. I'm sorry, honey. My mind is made up. After breakfast, you will go outside and you will do every task that I have laid out for you," I let out a long sigh, expressing my anger through my breath.

I ate my breakfast extra slow, eating my eggs one piece at a time, and cutting my french toast into microscopic pieces, doing anything to delay the grusome work I had ahead of me.

Finally, I stood up, sliding the chair loudly against the ceramic tiles, before my mother found another way to ruin my already disasterous day, "OH! I almost forgot, Celia laid a dress out on your bed, you are coming with your step-father and I to a charity banquet tonight," before I had time to complain she said, "I bought an extra dress for Angela, I figured you wouldn't want to go without her." I knew there was no way of getting out of this, and accepted my fate. Stomping up my giant staircase and slamming my door before calling Ang.

She answered on the first ring, "Hello?"

"Angie, cancel any plans you have with Ben later, or at least postpone them. We have a date at a ball tonight," I said, in a elegant fake british accent.

"Well, that sounds like fun," she said with as much sarcasm as she could muster.

"Obviously, you're going to fake sick. We'll only be there an hour, tops. Renee and Phil, on the other hand? They will be out until at least one o'clock. We leave at 8, tell the guys to meet us here, and then the fun will start," I told her, pride clear in my voice with my genius plan.

"Fiiiiine," she said in defeat, hanging up to call the boys and tell them to be here for 8. It was rare that I was left with an empty house. Our help was always here, day and night, and my parents rarely went out, I was going to take advantage of a night when no one would be home.

I couldn't escape my punishment much longer, so I threw on a pair of tattered shorts and a "Smashing Pumpkins" t-shirt, and grabbed the lawn supplies and stormed out the front door. I decided to start with the hedges at the front of the house, trying to work from the front to the back. As I walked down the long pathway, I realized just how long this would take.

The hot California sun beated down on me, and I was starting to appreciate Rajah more. I never noticed how hard the work was. I was trimming for twenty minutes, before my arms were tired and my legs tired from standing. When a nail broke off, I let out a loud, "Oh for fuck sakes! Come on!" and let my body slide down to the hot sidewalk.

I heard a low chuckle coming from behind me, and I turned to find my neighbour Edward watching me. His eyes were mocking. He laughed again at the angry face I gave him.

"Do you find this _funny_?" I asked, letting the acid leak into my words.

"I just didn't know someone so hardcore," he put air quotes around the last word, "would get so upset over a broken nail," I gave him another scowl, and he laughed even harder. He was gorgeous, I couldn't deny that. He had long bronzed hair, perfectly gelled o top of his head, accomplishing the much admired bed-head look. His beautiful green eyes pierced into your soul, and you couldn't help but stare back. He would be exactly my type, if it wasn't for the fact that he was just so.. good. He was an honour student, and a freshman at UCLA. He was the kind of boy that your parents wanted you to end up with, and that was exactly the reason that I didn't want to. He lived alone in a house a bit smaller than mine - but still huge in comparison to a normal house - across the street. His parents had left it to him after they moved to Bermuda so his dad could open his own hospital.

He was still standing there laughing, so I just stuck my tongue out at him. He let out on last laugh before going into his house. I stood up, determind to finish in time to get some alcohol for the party tonight, when he came back out with hedge clippers of his own.

"What are you doing?" I asked, kind of shocked that he would help me. I had never been nice to Edward. He lived across the street since we moved here, two years ago. He had been friendly enough, but I wasn't in the mood to make friends like him, I was tired of being good, and associating with good people. I had shut him out, and found ways to intentionally piss him off.

"I'm going to show you how to do it, since you're clearly too much of a princess to do yardwork," he laughed one more time at my expense, before trimming away. I followed, and in less than 15 minutes, the hedges were done.

"Er.. Thanks," I muttered quietly, not really wanting to say the words, but knew it was the least I could do.

"No problem, how did you get yourself on yard duty anyways?" He asked, in a smug voice. Of course he would think this was funny, someone getting punished. He was the type of kid that never did anything wrong, never had anything to get punished for.

"My mom caught me screwing the yard guy, so she fired him and she's forcing me to take over his job until she finds a less attractive replacement," I said, rolling my eyes at the ridiculous story. He just stared at me, shock colouring his face. He obviously doesn't understand what sarcasm is. "Kidding?" I said, kind of questioningly, "I got a little more drunk than I realized last night, and threw up in the umbrella holder. Apparently that's a terrible thing to do."

"Good, I would hope Rajah wouldn't have to stoop that low," he said, half-jokingly.

That did it, "You can go now," I said, through my teeth, letting him know how angered I was by his comment.

He raised his hands, and backed away, as if I were holding a weapon, and retreated into his house.

I mowed, picked weeds, and watered in a daze. Still angered by Edward's words, and by the time I was done, Angela pulled into the driveway in her old beat-up ford. "So, should we go with the flu, or a headache?" She asked.

"Headache works perfectly, you don't have to feign throwing up that way."

I showed her the ridiculous dresses my mom had picked out for us, consisting of pinks and teals, and we gagged at them together. We went through all the notions, though, getting ready, curling our hair, putting on sparkly eyeshadows and bright pink lip gloss. If my mom thought we were excited about it, she wouldn't find it suspicous when we had to leave early. When we went downstairs to meet my mother, she was beaming from head to toe. So excited that I was doing something normal Californian teenagers did.

Me and Ang told my mom we wanted to take my car, the newest gift from my father, and she agreed it was fine. We climbed into the sleek black ferrari, and blared music. We stopped by my dealers house first, picking up ecstacy, shrooms, and weed in preperation for tonight. Mike, Tyler, and Ben were bringing the alcohol, and for anyone else who was coming, it would be BYOB.

We pulled up at the banquet, and I refused to let valet park my car, since this was where we would be keeping the drugs. We got out, and I was already annoyed at the high heeled shoes I was wearing. I voiced my complaints to Ang, and she shared them. We were both dreading the short hour we would be spending here.

When we walked in, and every pair of eyes in the room turned to stare. I rolled my eyes, I sometimes get annoyed by all the attention Angie gets. It's terrible to feel jealous over your best friend, but I did. I would never match up to her beauty, and I accepted that long ago, but was it such a horrible thing to wish we could be on the same level?

I pushed my thoughts aside, and got the rest of the hour over with. We danced, and snuck a couple glasses of champagne, and then Ang started to get the worst migrane. My mom told us to go home without another word, and we were happy to comply.

As soon as we got into the car, we popped our first pill, and drove back with blaring music. There were already ten cars in my driveway, waiting for the host to come home. I was a bit angry about this, because it meant I wouldn't have a chance to change, but I was determined to make the rest of my night fun. I got out, and met the guys at the door, unlocked it, and let the partiers in.

Finally, the real fun began.

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A/N,

i decided to let it go with 3 reviews. so enjoy this chapter. please review. if i get 3-5 reviews on this chapter, i'll post the next one tomorrow at this time.

love always,

jaaay.p :)


	3. chapter two, the fall

disclaimer ; i don't own a thing, except a giant poster of edward thats hanging on my wall :)

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I'm thinking 'bout all the things I heard about today  
All this week and tomorrow  
And how these hands can create some better things for bettering  
but you see for now I got my own things  
I can't help it  
I got too many issues I own  
So I cannot help I'm afraid, yeah  
But keep on preaching, preaching and heal the world  
Lip service makes us look great

- The Rocket Summer, Do You Feel

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**CHAPTER 2.**

The doorknob slowly turned, the entrance way to the party, and I was smart enough to side step out of the way to avoid getting trampled. When I saw the same girls from the night before, holding onto Mikes's side, I knew the first pill Ang and I popped wasn't going to be enough. I grabbed another from my pocket, and threw it in my open mouth. My head slowly became heavier, and the ringing in my ears intensified. Still, when she was placing kiss upon kiss onto his neck, I knew even that wouldn't suffice. I walked over to him, only to grab the alcohol out of the bag. I was glad to see that it wasn't opened yet, happy to know I wouldn't be sharing anything with the girl, sucking faces with my best friend, who was dressed even sluttier today, impossible as it seemed.

I recieved a few snarky comments about my outfit from the guys, but let them pass. Tonight was about having fun. I went into full hostess mode, greeting each of the hundreds of people who passed through my house. I sighed, not really understanding how it had gotten this out of control, before sliding out a chair from the island in the kitchen. I had Angie help me stand onto it, not trusting my own balance in these dreaded high heeled shoes, and Ang yelled, "LISTEN UP," to get everyones attention, not that she had to try that hard in the first place.

Every pair of eyes stared up at me, and I took a quick gulp before beginning. "Well, welcome everyone! Our party is going to be ridiculous, but first, there are a few rules. No one will be drinking my alcohol," I shot a quick glance to the girls standing with Mike and Tyler, "and everyone has to be out of here before one! Other than that, go nuts."

I hopped off the chair, and took a swig from the bottle of Whiskey, I walked over to the guys with Sam by my side. I shot a death glare at the girls from last night, Jessica and Lauren, I would soon learn, in return, earning a soft smile from both.

The blonde, Lauren, simply said, "You have a beautiful home," in a soft voice. It was obvious that the guys explained to them that we were their friends, and if they didn't get along with us, they couldn't stick around. I was surprised they still _were_ around.

I shot her another evil look, and said, "Yes, one I don't remember inviting _you_ into," and just ignored them as Ang, Mike, Tyler, Ben, and I discussed all the stupid things we were planning on doing tonight. We all went into my pool house, inviting anyone else who wanted to come along, to smoke a bowl of weed. Jessica and Lauren came, against my wishes, along with a few other people from the party. A girl named Kate, who I could learn to like, came out with her boyfriend Garrett. There were a few more rowdy guys that I didn't bother learning the names of.

We passed it around, Jessica and Lauren both turning it down as it passed them by, Mike was in a full on flirting mode. Still staring at me while he did it, but not as much as the previous night. After I left, they must have ended the night on good terms. Maybe she interested him more than I knew, or maybe he really was just trying to get back at me. I didn't know, and right now I didn't care. The high was taking me over, willing me to forget everything other than the fact that tonight was going to be a good night.

I took another few hits of the bowl before deciding to enroll myself in a game of flip cups. After that, I played beer pong against Tyler, and after that, we had a competition to see who could take the most shots. I was neck in neck with Mike, when the doorbell rang. I checked my watch, it was 11:30, past the time when more guests came to show up. Ang offered to get it, but curiousity got the best of me, and I took the last shot on the table, and walked away in forfeit. Mike cheered, and I rolled my eyes and laughed.

When I reached the door, I pulled it open in a daze. The room was spinning, the drugs and drinks taking its effect over me. When I opened the door to a pair of firmiliar green eyes, I had to shut my eyes before reopening them again, checking to see if Edward was really standing in my doorway, or if I was imagining it. When he stared back at me, still, tapping his left foot impatiently against my cement porch, I cocked my head with confusion.

"Is Edward Cullen really standing in my door, at my party right now?" I asked, in a teasing manner. The words came out more slurred than I expected. He just rolled his eyes in response.

"Only to ask if you could keep the noise to a minimum? I have my brothers and sisters over, and I'm finding it difficult to converse with them, competing over the noise of loud, intoxicated teenagers," he said, irritated, as he looked me up and down, "much like yourself."

"You have brothers and sisters? Now, why did I never know this?" My words came out messy now, and even I could barely make out what I said. Edward seemed to have no problem, though.

"You thought I was too much of a pain in the ass to ask," he replied, with a quick shrug of the shoulders.

I smiled at him, against my own intentions, before saying, "Bring them over, get drunk. I would love," I over extended the word, making the 'o' long and dramatic, "to see perfect pretty boy Edward Cullen drunk, beat me in a game of beer pong, I am the champion you know," I said proudly. Giving him a smile that bared all my teeth.

A small smile began to come to his lips, obviously against his best efforts, because he quickly went back into straight faced, serious Edward. Any trace of fun, and carefree disappearing behind his careful exterior, the seriousness that made him, him.

"Whatever," I said, louder than I thought, "I'll make them keep it down," I turned around, door still wide open, him standing behind me. "HEY! EVERYONE!" I shouted, again, getting every head in the room turning in my direction, "THE FUN POLICE ARE HERE! WE'RE BEING TOLD TO SHUT THE FUCK UP, GOT IT?" I slurred all the words, but everyone in the room understood, a low "boo" coming from each of them, but I knew they would comply. "Happy?" I said, facing Edward now.

He was chuckling, a low throaty noise, then he said, "Immensely, oh, and Bella?" He said, before turning to leave, I jerked my chin in his direction, urging him to finish, excited to go back to the party, "you look gorgeous in that dress," he said, and with that, he turned away. I blushed a dark shade of red, and I didn't know if this was because I was still wearing the embarrassing get-up I wore to throw off Renee, or because he had said it. I just closed the door, ignoring the thoughts.

I went back to my guests, taking another quick shot of vodka, before inviting people back into the pool house to smoke from the bong. It ended up only being me, Ang, Ben, Tyler, and Mike. Just the way I liked it.

"So," I began, holding the puff of weed I just took into my mouth, making the words come out only though my nose, sounding nasally. I let out the breath before continuing, "I thought you guys would have ditched barbie sluts last night."

Mike shrugged, "Lauren and Jess," he corrected me, I rolled my eyes. "And," he continued, "their actually kind of cool, once you get past the giggles and stupid remarks."

Ang snickered, underneath Ben's arm, I wasn't sure why they weren't dating each other yet. It was clear how they felt about the other, but I figured she didn't want to place him in the same catagory as Eric, since he was far from it. "Which means," she said, turning to me, "they didn't let them go any further than making out, and they weren't ready to give up just yet," Ben, Angie and I all laughed hysterically at this, and Tyler and Mike just sulked.

It wasn't until I popped in a third pill that things started getting iffy. The world stopped being real, and my hallucinations took over. My skin felt like it was crawling, and all the people in my house making me uncomfortable.

I started yelling, "Get the fuck away from me, get out of my house, go!" People quickly vanished. Leaving me and Angie, and Ben. Mike and Tyler left with Jessica and Lauren, and we were all laying on my couch, staring at absolutely nothing. Ang was just as messed up as I was, but she had Ben to rub her back and coo her

My stomach began to churn, and the house started to close in on me.

Just then, the door slowly opened, the sound almost deafening to my stoned ears. Renee took in a sharp gasp, while looking around the house. A hand flew up to cover her mouth.

"Quite the head ache," she said in a low, disappointed tone. A pang of guilt hit me, but I was too high to care. "What the hell went on in my house, Bella Marie Swan?" She demanded.

Ben and Ang took this as their cue to leave, they gave me a quick wave and stepped out of the house. Through the window, I could see them stepping into Ang's car. I knew this was a bad idea, but again, couldn't bring myself to care.

I walked up the stairs, heading into my bedroom, hoping I could get away that easily. "Get the hell back here," my mother shouted. I sighed, and walked back downstairs, slowly, watching each step as I did. They were moving, and something was crawling all over them. This terrified me to the verge of tears. My mother sat me down and yelled for what seemed like days. My head was already throbbing, and I couldn't take my eyes off her face, the same things crawling on the stairs were on it. Bigger this time, faster, more determined to crawl under her skin. The room was spinning, and her loudest screams came out in a whisper. I felt myself slipping away, and when she finally finished her rant, I walked up the stairs, making myself not look down, which caused me to trip a few times. I quickly stood up, not wanting these determined crawlers to get onto me, and ran into my bedroom, slamming the door behind me.

I pulled myself out of my dress, but for some reason, kept the heels on my feet. I slipped into a night gown, pink and silky, not really caring what was on my body, as long as it was clean, bug free, they were everywhere. This was the only piece of cloth in my room that wasn't. Suddenly, I looked out the window. Across the street, on Edwards's house, a million cats were sitting on his roof. They were meowing loudly, wanting to get off. I had to go save them. I climbed out my window, down the eavestroff like I had thousands of times before, running towards his house, desperate to save the cats.

Outside was no better than my house. The wind was speaking to me, whispering in my ears, saying nothing but everything at the same time. The bright street lights burned my eyes, and the ground started to sink when I walked across it. It was pulling me down, down into the earth, where no one could find me, I couldn't stay in one place for very long, because it would suck me into it, leaving me without a chance to escape.

When I got to Edward's house, I barfed in his flowers. My head swirling, my mouth tasting like acid, but I couldn't care about it for long. The cats were calling to me, begging for me to save them. I had to save them, no one else could. I ran around to his backyard, searching for a ladder, or an easy way to get to the top of his roof. When I couldn't find anything, I laid furniture upon furniture on top of each other. I started out with a table, placing it on a hard cement patio. next, I grabbed chairs, then, buckets that I flipped upside down. It was finally tall enough that I could reach the roof, the only hard part climbing up the mountain to reach my destination.

I ignored the new bugs that filled my homemade ladder, I couldn't let the cats stay up there for very long. I felt like they were calling my name, telling me they needed my help. I kept whispering, "I'm coming," over and over again.

I was on the top bucket, and I stretched on my tip-toes, putting my fingers against the side of the roof. The furniture swayed at this movement, but stayed in place still. I pulled myself with all my strength onto the top of the roof. "I'm coming," I whispered one more time, my words coming out exhausted, taking a deep breath and letting it out between each word. When I finally got to the top of the roof, the cats were standing there waiting.

When I tried to grab them, they disappeared, out of my arms. They were all still waiting, but I couldn't grab them. I got frusturated, and I stomped my foot. A light turned on underneath me, and I could hear someone open the window.

"Come here!" I yelled, exasperated. I started to cluck my tongue, _tut tut tut tut tut, here kitty kitty kitty_, I wasn't even sure if I was saying this out loud or in my head anymore, everything was fuzzy.

"Bella?" I heard beneath me, a tired musical voice. But I ignored it, I had to get the damn cats, they needed me, they were calling for me, I was their only chance.

"Bella, what the hell are you doing on my roof? I'm calling the police."

With that, I lost my balance. My foot slipped, and I could feel myself slowly falling off the roof. It was all in slow motion. Sliding slowly and slowly into the inevitable, waiting for the ground to hit me hard, and all I could think about were the cats. They were helpless, they needed me, and I fucked up. Just like I had with every other situation in my life. When the roof disappeared from under my feet, I saw Edward put his hands out of the now screenless window, trying to grab ahold of me, not reaching far enough. The last thing I heard before I hit the ground was, "NO!" It was loud and clear, unlike everything else had been. My head was still fuzzy, my world still turning, but I was aware of what was coming next.

Then, everything went black.

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A/N,

this is the last chapter i have pre-written, so if i get at least 10 reviews tonight, i will write another chapter and post it for tomorrow.  
if not, i need 5 for the next day.  
less than that, next chapter comes up on sunday.  
tell me where i should go from here? :)  
thanks, guys!  
jewels.


	4. chapter three, awakening

disclaimer, i own nothing.. blahblahblah. enjoy.

* * *

Run to you, I will run, I will run.  
I will move right on through  
All of these things that I have done.  
And you'll take me back, I don't know why.  
I want to say I'll never do it again,  
But I can't, but I will try.

- Run To You, The Rocket Summer

* * *

My eyes fluttered open, forcing the light into my mind. I glanced around the small, light blue room. It wasn't until I saw the many tubes emerging from my body, and heard the steady rythym of a low _beep, beep, beep_, that I realized where I was. An almost non-existant groan escaped from my raspy voice. It was enough to wake up my guest, who I hadn't noticed until a startled breath escaped his lips.

"Edward?" I asked, barely audible. Maybe I was dreaming, or maybe I was crazy now. I didn't know. He couldn't be here though, I couldn't even be here. I tried to remember back, remember why I was in a cramped room in the local hospital. Edward stood from his ugly maroon cushioned chair, and took a few steps forward until he was at the edge of my hospital bed.

"Bella," he sighed, "I didn't know if you would wake up. Your parents, they just went to the cafeteria, your friends were here too. Everyone was so worried, Bella. We didn't think.." He cut himself off, before finishing with a quiet, "But you're awake now," and a small smile grew on his lips, his green eyes were dead.

"What.." I started, until I realized what he had said, "Wait.. my parents? Do you mean Renee and Phil? Charlie can't.."

I was interrupted by the door to my already-cramped-room swinging open, in stepped Renee, Charlie right at her side.

I forgot all the other worries in my head, letting the fury take over all my thoughts. How dare he come here? How dare he?

The anger must have seeped from my thoughts onto my face, because Charlie took one look at me, and his excitement faded into sorrow. "Good to see that you're up, Bella. We were getting worried. I.. erm.. I'm going to go wait, in the lobby," he turned to leave, clearly uncomfortable by the tension.

I turned to Renee, "Why is he here, and why is he waiting in the lobby?"

Edward shifted his weight, clearly becoming uncomfortable, too. He looked at me with a sincere smile, and said, "I'm glad you're up Bella, I'm going to go get something from the vending machine and join your dad," he gave me another smile, and waved to Renee before swifly exiting the too-small room.

"Oh, I'm so glad you're up, we've all been so worried," she pulled the seat Edward was on to the edge of the bed before continuing, "Do you remember what happened, Bells?" I wracked my brain, trying to remember something - anything - that would have brought me here, and I came up with nothing. I gave me head a slight shake, and she continued, "You climbed up, and fell off, Edward's roof."

"But.. why would I.." she raised a finger, letting me know she was intending on continuing. I knew by the look on her face that another lecture was sure to be coming my way, so I folded my arms, and waited for it to pass. I learnt long ago that it was best to let her finish without interrupting, it gave her the illusion that you were letting it sink in.

"The doctors found incredible amounts of extacy, alcohol, and other drugs in your blood, Bella. It's amazing that you lived, and you're lucky that Edward was there to save you. But.. this can't happen anymore. We thought about sending you to an excellent rehabilitation center, only an hour away."

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT, I WON'T..." The finger rose again.

"We decided not to, but, you just can't keep doing this, it's not only killing you, it's killing us, too. So, we're doing something a bit less extreme. I know you don't want to hear this, but the decision is made, Bella," I held my breath for whatever was coming next, my brain already screaming at me that it would be bad, "The reason Charlie is here... you are going to move in with him."

I never expected it to be that bad.

"No, no way. I'm not going to go. I am ninteen, are you forgetting that? I have free will, and can legally do what I would like. I am NOT living with that man."

"Well, its that, or rehab. You can choose. We have talked to Angela's parents, as well, Bella. She is getting shipped off to stay with her aunt, those boys are a bad influence on you both, and we just can't do it anymore. You will stay with your father, and you will not see any of those people you call your friends," she spoke quickly, not allowing me to get any arguments in, "But.. Edward is going to move there with you. Your father is so busy working, he won't have time to keep a close enough eye on you. Since he is clearly not like those other boys, you will have a good influence around, and you will have someone to keep you company."

"Are you fucking joking me?" I knew I was speaking too loudly, and I knew that I was acting childish, but I really didn't care, "I haven't spoke to my so-called Father in three years, and now you're shipping me there as punishment, with Edward Cullen, no less? Are you insane?" I tried to sit up, and Renee reached for the red button on the side of my bed, before I could yell anymore, a nurse entered the room.

A needle slowly approached my vein, and I quickly felt my eyes drooping, within seconds I was asleep.

"Bella?" A soft voice whispered, a cloudy sound to my tired ears. "Wake up, Bella."

"Edward? What are you still doing here?" I asked, after my eyes finally re-opened, and glanced at the clock. It was three in the morning. He was wearing the same dead expression that I remembered.

He smiled at me, "Your parents, they asked me to talk with you, they thought you would listen to me, I told them you wouldn't," he said, with a laugh lacking humor, "but Bella, they're right. You need to get away from all of it for a while, you almost died, Bella. You were in a coma, three weeks Bella. No one expected you to live," I felt like I was punched in the stomach, a large amount of guilt ached throughout my body.

He grabbed my hand, softly rubbing the top with a soft thumb.

"I'll be there with you, Bella. I will be there, you won't be alone. Give it a week, please, if its as terrible as you think, at least you tried," his dead eyes were now begging, I thought I saw a lone tear in the corner of his left eye, not daring to escape. "Please," he whispered.

Against my own will, my head gave a small nod. I couldn't deny him that, couldn't deny Renee that. I put them through hell, all for a simple night of escape. I had to at least try to stop, and it wouldn't be so bad, not with Edward there.

The tear finally escaped, and rolled down his perfect, sculpted cheek. His face was alive again, the sparkle had returned to his emerald green eyes. He kept muttering thank you's, though I was unsure why. I should be the one thanking _him_. He had saved me from myself, he had shown me reason, he had brought me back to the surface, I was no longer drowning in my own sorrows.

"Thank you, Bella. Thank you. Get your sleep, I'm going to go pack, we're leaving in three days," a quick nod, and I was fast asleep.

I was no longer in the cramped hospital room, I was surrounded by my childhood room. The walls a vivid purple, the lights so bright my eyes were watering. I glanced around, I recognized where I was quickly, but there was nothing besides the paint to tell me what it was. It had been stripped clean, no pictures lingered, no furniture anywhere.

I tried escaping the room, but the small wooden door was jammed, not budging from the tight frame. I began to pound, the banging echoed through the empty room. I could feel the anger approaching, felt my heart accelerating without reason, and my brain was telling me to run. Suddenly, my feet were just as stuck as the door. I couldn't even turn around, I was frozen, stuck in time.

Deep breathing came from over my shoulder, a sinister laugh grew louder in my ear. I banged louder, yelled harder, more eager than ever to escape.

"Welcome home," said the deep voice, and I awoke with a shake.

The next three days passed quickly, more drugs were given to me, more bad dreams were had, and before I knew it, I was being released. Renee had packed my bags, and Charlie agreed that I could drive there with Edward.

Renee said she would call every day, and she was crying before I climbed into Edward's volvo and waved goodbye. Edward placed my bags into the trunk, and climbed in next to me.

The ride was quiet, all I could think of were my reoccuring dreams, and the fact that I was going to be living not only with Charlie, but with Edward Cullen.. I never thought I would see the day. I was beginning to regret the way I treated him over the years, and I knew how wrong it was. I know he saved my life, not only literally but rhetorically as well, but he was still Edward.. still the good boy, still the perfect over-achiever, the boy that didn't know how to have fun.

I glanced over at him, his bronze hair glowing in the sun, his emerald eyes hidden behind his dark sunglasses, his knuckles white as he grabbed onto the wheel with his life. A traitor smile grew on my face, knowing he was clearly thinking the same thing.

"Why did you agree to this? I mean, I'm horrible to you, we're hardly friends, why are you coming with me?" I asked, not really knowing what I was saying.

He looked over, his eyebrow raised in a quizzical way, "I care about you, Bella, I know that's strange, but I somehow feel.. protective of you. Those people you hang out with, you deserve better. I can tell that you and your father don't get along very well, but I know that you need this, you need time away. I thought you would only do it if you had someone there with you, and I know that your parents would only agree to that if it was me... That must sound cocky," he laughed. Turning his attention back to the wheel, letting me know the conversation was over.

I looked out the window too, knowing that this summer was going to be interesting, to say the least.

Then, the big white house came into view, and as much as I hated to admit it, I was home.

* * *

A/N,

sorry guys it took so long. i've been terribly busy, and i cant promise the next one will come any sooner, working pretty much every day from now until next friday, its a pain in the ass.

review though! enough reviews, and i will type up the next chapter tomorrow night and post it saturday around 2 30.

also, i want to know if anyone wants to do a collab with me. email me and let me know! juliannepaul live . ca sorry about the spaces, it wont let me post links on here.

anyways, love always, sorry again,

jaycee.


	5. chapter four, house is not a home

Wait a second I see words that you promised me.  
Seeking diligently, bring the rain, bring the rain.  
I will wait, wait, I will wait for you.  
This is a refuge, this is hope.  
This is a refuge, this is love.

- This is a Refuge  
The Rocket Summer

* * *

disclaimer, i own nothing besides a very out of character bella and her very out of character friends. thanks for the set up though, s meyer.

* * *

I stepped into the familiar house, one that I would never consider home again. Memories hit me like a gust of wind, and I shuddered away from them. The decision to come here was instantly regretted. How stupid was I? Returning to Phoenix had to be the worst decision possible, if my previous decisions were, stupid, than this was down right retarded. Edward followed behind, dropping the first load of my bags into the doorway.

I sighed, and dragged the large suitcases over to the elevator. When the doors finally opened, I stepped inside, and made the journey to my childhood room. I stopped outside the doorway, mentally preparing myself. This is stupid, Bella, I thought to myself. It's a room, nothing more nothing less.

My hand slowly pushed itself forward, grabbing hold of the handle. It turned slowly, and as the door opened, it made a loud creak. Obviously, the room had not been used in a long time. As I stepped into the room, I immediately noticed I was not alone.

"Good morning, Miss Bella," said Kristen, Charlie's housekeeper. A forced smile sat on her face, and I could tell that the staff hadn't been looking forward to my visit.

Well, if they were expecting a challenge, I might as well give them one.

"I don't remember giving your permission to be in here, Kristen. Now that I am living here again, I expect to be contacted 48 hours in advance when you, or any of the help would like to enter my areas of the home. That includes my room, the guest room Edward will be staying in, my recreational room, and the basement," I spat it her. "Now, go and tell your little friends that if you don't comply, I will do all that I can to make sure that your already low wages be lowered a great deal. Run along," waving her towards the door. I smirked, and she walked out. The forced smile already disappeared.

For the first time, I noticed Edward behind me, giving Kristen an apologetic look. I would have to reprimand him for that later.

When Kristen was out of ear shot, Edward began his lecture. I tuned him out, only catching certain phrases like, "incredibly rude" and, "raised by wolves".

"Slutevz, Edward," I said, with a little more acid than intended, "you have so much respect for the help, you can spend your day with them. Make sure they get all of this unpacked, and inform them I'd like this room completely redone. It reminds me too much of shitty childhoods and big titted secretaries."

I stepped back out into the hallway, slamming the door. I clicked the button for the elevator, wishing it would come faster, or at least more angrily. This was really putting a damper in my dramatic exit. Finally, the elevator arrived, and I was descending to the first floor. When the door opened, the last thing I hoped to see was Charlie standing right there. But, with my luck, that's what I got.

"Oh, Bella, I can't believe you're really here. I'm sad its under these circumstances but.." He began.

I quickly cut him off, "Yeah, Chuck. Rah Rah. Give me an H and all that. I'm going out, don't wait up."

With that, I walked up to the large white doors, opened them up and grabbed the first pair of car keys I saw hanging on the wall. Walking into the driveway, I continued to click the unlock button, but none of the cars were beeping. Frustrated, I walked into the garage. No cars there beeped either.

"UGH!" I sighed, rather loudly. I did not want to go back into that house to access the car elevator. Sighing in defeat, I pulled out my cellphone. While Renee had disabled outgoing calls to Ange, Mike, Ben, and Tyler, I could still had options.

Scrolling down to the J's, I quickly found Jacobs number. I clicked his name, and then clicked "text".

J, back in town and hating it! Come save me?

xo B

I clicked send, and knew I would only be waiting ten minutes before Jake came to my rescue. In the mean time, I figured I'd go soak my feet in the pool.

I went around to the back yard, pushed the code into the stone fence, and waited for the door to swing open. As soon as it did, the smell of chlorine took over all of my senses. I walked over to the pool, took off my gladiator sandals, and stuck my feet in slowly - adjusting to the cool temperature of the water.

Once in, I threw my head back and closed my eyes, letting the sun take me over. It wasn't long before I heard footsteps come behind me, delighted that Jake had showed up so quickly, I grabbed my sandals, and rose as fast as I could. While standing, my left foot didn't agree with my right, and I soon tripped over, luckily landing on the green grass rather than on the cement, or worse, into the pool.

I heard a low chuckle, and internally groaned. I had just fallen for nothing, the footsteps didn't belong to my childhood friend, rather my neighbourhood.. well, I didn't really know what Edward was yet. He was just, Edward.

"Even in a different state, you're a klutz," he joked, his slanted smirk gracing his face. When I didn't laugh, he cleared his throat awkwardly. "Look," he began, "I'm sorry for that.. lecture.. I gave you back in your room. I guess I didn't anticipate just how difficult this whole thing must be for you. It's all been a big change, and I shouldn't expect any difference just yet, I mean.. we only just got -"

Edward was cut off by a loud honk, signaling that Jake was waiting out front.

"Look, Eddie. I'd love to finish this, but I have a new life to start. I suggest you go get cozy with Kristen, you're going to have to find some way to entertain yourself this summer. See you!" I gave him a quick wave of my fingers, then I was off to find the real fun in Phoenix.

* * *

A/N

ugh, i know, i'm awful. worst fanfiction author ever.

but i've been busy as hell, and i felt like i wasn't going anywhere with this story - or any of my stories. i had major writers block, but now i'm back in the swing of things.

so if anyone is still with me, then enjoy this chapter! i promise to have another one up by tonight.

much love! jacey.


	6. chapter five, driveaways

Mama said it's all right  
If you cry if you lose a fight  
Daddy said dry it up.  
I'm proud of you not giving up.  
I've been battling so many years,  
and I've stood up to many fears.  
So keep the faith, this I know,  
but I'm about to lose control.

- I Need a Break.. But I'd Rather Have a Breakthrough, The Rocket Summer

* * *

disclaimer, i own nothing but my ideas and my laptop. so please, don't sue me. :)

* * *

"Bells!"

The deep voice made me ears ring, the smell of musk made my nose tingle. It was great to see Jacob again, it had been so long since I had seen my best friend.

His large arms soon engulfed me, the musk scent much more prominent. I had to laugh, being around Jake made everything go away. His carefree attitude rubbed off onto everyone, the warmth he carried with you swallowed all coldness that came near it.

"Alright, Jakey! You're hurting me now!" He laughed, the sound filled the car.

"Sorry, Bells. But you've been gone too long! Look at you!" he exclaimed, waving his hands towards me.

I blushed a deep red, muttered my thanks, and we were off. Driving along the place I once knew as home, with the person who used to be my best friend. It felt nice, for the first time in days, I was happy.

The car was silent for a while, but it was a nice silence - a comfortable silence. Driving past fields, breathing in the fresh Phoenix air, and listening to our favourite bands. If someone would have offered to do this with me a few weeks ago, I would have laughed. But right now, I was perfectly content.

I looked over at Jake, and noticed how much he had grown since I'd left. His braces had been taken off, letting his white teeth really stand out against his russet skin. He had chopped his long black hair off, and at first I was sad about it, but then I realized how much it showed off his chizzeled jaw. I was beginning to get uncomfortable with my assessing of the new Jacob Black, so decided it was time to start conversations up again.

"So, tell me whats been going on since I've left," I mused.

Jake's signature chuckle emerged from his throat, and he began telling stories about all our old friends. I missed the pack, I don't think I truly realized it until now. Embry and Quil were still pulling pranks, Seth was still looking up to Jacob, Leah finally got a boyfriend, Sam and Emily got engaged, and Paul still seemed like Paul.

After telling me all the tales about our friends he could think of, Jake let out a small sigh. Before I could ask what was wrong, he pulled into a parking lot hastily.

Taken aback, I looked at Jacob quizzically.

"Bella, why did you have to leave? Why haven't you come back? You could have been like normal kids and spent time shared between Renee and Charlie. You completely forgot us, do you know how much that hurts?" His voice cracked at the last sentence, and guilt rushed over me.

"I didn't want to Jake.. but.. I just couldn't," I began. I tried to continue, but the words wouldn't escape my mouth. This topic was unchartered territory, it was an unwritten rule not to ever talk about it. Even if it was with Jake.

I felt his large, warm hand stroke my hair, while the other grabbed a hold of my chin, and gently lifted it so my face was facing his. He started deep into my eyes, searching my soul for what my words couldn't say.

Scared that my eyes would betray me, I quickly looked down.

"The towns probably gossiped, Jake. I'm sure you know why Renee and Charlie called it quits. That slut of a secretary was doing a lot more for Charlie than he was paying her for, and when Renee had found out, she just couldn't stay. It was a no brainer for who I would choose as my primary care giver. I couldn't stay around to watch.." I had to stop then, tears were falling, and I couldn't let Jake see me like this. I tried to stop the sobs, but they continued. Jake wrapped his arms around me, pulled me close, and rocked me against his body. Within minutes, I was asleep in his arms.

"Wake up, sleepy," the deep voice whispered. I opened my eyes groggily, searching for the clock. It read 6:07pm, jesus, had I really slept here for four hours? I was an awful friend. Quickly sitting up to mumble my apologies, but before I could spit them out, a long warm finger pressed against my lips.

"I don't care, Belly Bean. Anytime spent with you is amazing, consious or unconcious, but unfortunately, Billy needs me back at the house. Want me to drive you home?"

Ugh, that sounded awful. "No, Jake. Actually, could you take me to Tanya's place?"

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Tanya Denali? Are you serious? Why would you possibly want to go there?"

I shrugged, obviously Jake hadn't heard of my infamous new lifestyle, and I planned to keep it that way. "No reason, Charlie just asked if I could drop something off for her."

With a simple questioning look, Jake dropped the topic. I knew I kept him around for a reason.

We drove in silence again, and within five minutes, Jake pulled into Tanya's driveway. I thanked him, and walked up the driveway. When I looked back, I realized that Jake was still waiting there.

I started to walk back, and stopped at the driver side window. He rolled it down manually, and gave me a weird look.

"What are you doing Bells?"

"Why are you waiting, Jake? I'm going to be a while. Don't worry about me, I'll get Edward to pick me up later," I said, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before running up the driveway to avoid all questions that would be brought on by that sentence.

I knew I would have to deal with hell for it later, but that didn't matter right now. All I wanted to do was walk up to the high school party girls house, and score an easy way to escape this hell hole of a town.

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A/N

wow, two chapters in one night.

i really am a changed author!

enjoy, my lovely readers who have probably forgotten about me. and the new ones that i really hope to accumulate.

also, please review to give me motivation to not drop this story for another 10 years :) yes, that is slightly a threat.

love always! jewels.


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